美国院校对PS的一般标准 - Powered by Discuz!NT Archiver

dragonmaster - 2008-5-15 15:53:00

I. INTRODUCTION

To successfully apply to the college or university of your choice
requires more than a transcript, a list of your accomplishments, and a
letter of recommendation from a favorite teacher. After all, your
application will be reviewed with hundreds of others’, many of whom
may
have grades, extracurricular activities, awards and honors equal to
your
own or even better. What will differentiate you from these hundreds
of other applicants?

The answer, of course, is your personal statement. An effective,
compelling personal statement has the ability to communicate your
unique
characteristics and experiences to the admissions committee in your
own
words. Your persistence. Your ambition. Your commitment to others.
Your sense of humor. These are qualities that don’t come across in
the
fill-in-the-blanks portion of the application. Take the opportunity
that the personal statement gives you, and use it to your best
advantage.

While the rest of the candidate pool may be able to write clearly and
competently, the smart candidate realizes that the admissions process
is, after all, a competition. To come out ahead, you must stand out
from the other applicants through creative, innovative, and engaging
writing comes into play. It’s a demanding task. Within the narrow
constraints of the application’s wording, you have to:
?nbsp; examine your personality traits and personal history and
consider how
to present them to a perfect stranger;
?nbsp; review your experiences and accomplishments, determine how
they are
relevant to the admissions criteria, and prioritize them according to
their relevance and importance;
?nbsp; transform your list of accomplishments into a coherent,
organized
narrative structure; and
?nbsp; let your own "voice" come across in your essay while ensuring
your
tone is neither too familiar nor stiffly formal.

Writing Tip 1: Strategy

A Means to an End
Before sitting down to write your essay, it’s helpful to take a moment
to re-assess what you hope to achieve. Ask yourself what you hope to
get out of the program to which you are applying. What impact will
your
degree have on your short-term and long-term career plans? Your
earnings expectations? Your professional development? It’s crucial
that you have a solid understanding of how important the quality of
your
application is but don’t allow the process to make you feel
overwhelmed or anxious. Instead, let your ambition motivate you to
write the best personal statement that you possibly can.

Common Pitfalls
Application questions can range from the extremely specific ("What
personal challenges regarding interpersonal matters brought out your
conflict mediation and management skills?") to the hugely open-ended
("Tell us something about why you want to become an attorney"). The
latter is more conducive to a discussion of your personal
characteristics; the former is an excellent opportunity to showcase a
particular achievement. In either case, here are some pitfalls you’ll
want to avoid when planning your essay strategy.

Answer the Question.
You may have a remarkable achievement or personal experience that you
think would make an impression on the admissions committee ?nbsp;say, for
instance, you emigrated from a foreign land when you were young and
had
to learn a new language, assimilate to a new culture, and work your
own
way through school. But the personal statement question on your law
school application is, "How do you plan to use your degree in your
career?" Unfortunately, your experience simply doesn’t have much to
do
with the question. So *don’t use it.* There’s a reason that the
question was posed the way it was: the school wants to read your
answer. Instead of trying to manipulate your experience to "fit" the
question, focus on the scope of the question and ask yourself what
exactly is being asked. If guidelines for answering the question are
provided, examine these, too. You won’t impress anyone by deviating
from the information they want; they’ll simply conclude that you
didn’t

answer the question.

Don’t Assume That One Size Fits All
No one likes to receive a form letter that pretends to be
personalized.
Similarly, admissions committees are less impressed by generic
personal
statements that are clearly written to be sent to multiple schools.
Though it’s possible that your personal statement might *generally*
meet
the requirements of more than one school, it’s also true that there is
no one personal statement that could possibly meet *all* the questions
posed by the *all* the schools to which you are applying. Establish
what information each personal statement question seeks, and then
determine the type and structure of essay that would be the most
appropriate. Ideally, you will write a separate personal statement
for
each application.

Don’t Repeat Yourself (I).
Using your essay to simply reiterate your GPA and/or your courses is
wasting an incredible opportunity. This information will be given
adequate consideration elsewhere. Instead, use the personal statement
to present information that the admissions committee wouldn’t
otherwise
know.

Don’t Repeat Yourself (II).
Some applications ask for one primary essay and several supplemental,
short-answer statements. Remember that they will be read together,
and
plan carefully so that the information presented in one isn’t being
re-stated in another. Make sure your primary statement answers the
question while also ensuring that it shows the admissions committee
there is more to you than was previously revealed.

Don’t Apologize.
The last thing the person reading your essay wants to read is a list
of
excuses for why your GPA isn’t as high as you might like. Mentioning
your weak points only brings attention to them; the only valid reason
for dwelling on such a topic would be if the problem was caused by,
say,
an illness that required hospitalization or a serious family problem
that took you away from school for an extended time. In such a case,
present the information in a factual manner and move on. Focus on
your
achievements, not your shortcomings.

Do Your Homework
Research the schools to which you plan to apply. The more you know
about the school, its programs, and its faculty members, the better
you
will be able to structure your essay and show that you are truly
interested in the school. Here are some ways to gather information:
?nbsp; Call the admissions department and request a brochure that
provides
information about the school’s expectations from its applicants.
?nbsp; Talk to people you know who attended the school.
?nbsp; Contact the alumni office and ask whether it would be
possible to
contact alumni to hear their thoughts on the school.
?nbsp; Make an appointment with an admissions counselor or another
official
to get a better idea of the graduate experience.
?nbsp; Use AdmissionsEssays.Com’s free search engine, which lists key
statistics and URLs for highly regarded colleges, universities,
professional, and graduate schools.
This extra effort alerts the reader that you have taken time to learn
about the school, which gives a favorable impression of your
diligence,
dedication and interest in their institution. Of course, don’t overdo
it, the admissions committee already knows when the school was founded
and how many students attend each year. You need only show that you
have gone the extra mile.

The Bottom Line
Your personal statement is your chance to shine. Plan accordingly.
Discuss accomplishments and valuable experiences; emphasize the
positive
and empowering; make sure you come across as bright, involved,
engaging
and motivated. Don’t dwell on negative experiences or setbacks unless
you do so to introduce an example of overcoming obstacles and rising
above circumstance. Don’t bore or depress the reader. And remember,
admissions committees are composed of experienced professionals who
have
collectively read thousands of personal statements. They will be able
to
read between the lines! Be honest.

Step Two: Organization

Find Your Voice
Storytelling has many voices, from factual to confessional to
descriptive. Giving your personal statement is no different; there
are
as many approaches as there are individuals. However, remember that
your personal statement is really a very specific form of introduction
which generally answers two question: "Who are you?" and "What can you
offer?" The successful essay never strays from these themes of
introducing yourself and describing your potential as a successful
candidate. Therefore, organizing the structure of your statement
should
begin with an examination of your key accomplishments, turning points,
and events which will help answer these questions. Analyze your
resume,
personal history and memory to isolate certain key "defining moments"
in
your life.

Writing your personal statement can be an exciting process because it
encourages you to tell and explore your own personal history. What
you
write down, what you focus on, what you highlight and explore all give
insight into your own particular and unique values, hopes, aspirations
and ideals. Because of this, the information you present, as well as
how you present it, can reveal you as positive and eager or as someone
who’s just going through the motions. Keep in mind what image you
wish
to present when you are choosing the facts you will include in your
essay.

Some of the topics to explore and develop for essay purposes include:
?nbsp; hobbies
?nbsp; projects you have completed
?nbsp; particular jobs and responsibilities
?nbsp; accomplishments -- both professional and scholastic
?nbsp; major life events that you believe have changed you
?nbsp; challenges and personal hurdles you have overcome
?nbsp; life events which motivate you to apply for this particular
course of
education
?nbsp; individuals who influenced, prepared, or motivated you
?nbsp; particular traits, work habits, attitudes or sensibilities
that you
have developed
?nbsp; your goals

Always remember to explore these topics in a way that is relevant to
the
essay question. How do they relate to the fact that you have the
motivation, direction, and drive to succeed in the school to which you
are applying? At this point you should begin to write down, as
specifically as possible, the different events and accomplishments
that
you feel should be mentioned. Don’t worry about spelling, grammar or
even structure at this point, the goal is to describe your chosen
events and accomplishments comprehensively.

Organizing the Facts

What you now have in front of you is a list of your interests,
accomplishments, employment history and successes. Read over your
list
carefully and ask yourself what emotion is triggered by each item--
pride, resolution, motivation, acceptance, growth. Next to each item,
write a word or two that describe the key feelings with which you
associate it.

Next, identify the items from your list which gave you the most
satisfaction and group them together. Then identify the items that
were
most reflective of learning experiences or periods of personal or
professional growth, and circle those items. Continue to make
groupings
of your list items, making sure you have a clear idea of what each
item
represents ("goals," "pride," "overcoming obstacles," etc.). And
finally, write a few short sentences about each group, explaining how
the qualities exemplified by your list items would add to your success
in the school or program to which you are applying.

By highlighting your
personal achievements and potential for excellence, the BioGraph(sm)
lets our writers to craft an effective sample personal statement for
you
to use as an inspiration for organizing your own essay.

Choosing a Format
Just as stories take various forms, from a novel to a short story to a
parable or allegory, your personal statement could be presented as
several different themes. Below are three of the most popular themes
that AdmissionsEssays.Com uses in developing custom personal
statements.

1. OVERCOMING ADVERSITY
This format emphasizes your tenacity, patience, and diligence in
dealing
with, overcoming, or making peace with difficult events or
circumstances
that have the potential to change a person’s life. Without placing
external blame or making excuses, this format isolates the applicant’s
ability to thrive.
?nbsp; DO write descriptively. Use facts to back up your
assertions.
Remember the rule, "Don’t tell me--show me." How exactly are you
"more
mature"? What experiences warrant your describing yourself as
"entrepreneurial" and "creative"?

DO show who you are. Although most admissions committees are
not
necessarily looking for a statement that describes extraordinary
personal revelation or enlightenment, they do want to see how you use
your background to describe who you are and why you are exceptional.
?nbsp; DO emphasize your positive attitude by stating your future
plans.
Link this material with facts about the school.
?nbsp; DO show a proactive attitude through your word choices and
sentence
sequence. Use action verbs rather than passive ones.
?nbsp; DON’T present yourself as a victim, dwell on how you
suffered, or
indulge in self-pity.
?nbsp; DON’T place blame or pass judgement.
?nbsp; DON’T come across as bitter or angry. You will make the
reader
uncomfortable and make it difficult for him or her to identify with
your
experience.
?nbsp; DON’T Don’t place blame or judge--you don’t want to come off
as
bitter and angry.

2. PERSONAL GROWTH. This format surveys the applicant’s achievements
and accomplishments and comments on them, tracing the individual’s
evolution and transformation into a successful and determined
candidate.
?nbsp; DO use a positive, active voice. Focus on the changes in your
attitude and perspective, giving concrete factual examples. Include
clear, concise and adequately developed descriptions of key events
that
added to your personal growth and wisdom.
?nbsp; DON’T make excuses for failed efforts and disappointments. If
applicable, you may explain how a personal setback allowed you to
learn
and grow.
?nbsp; DON’T appear to feel angry, bitter, or sorry for yourself.
?nbsp; DON’T focus on just one achievement. Give several examples
to prove
your point.

. FAMILY HISTORY. This format tells the story of a member of the
applicant’s family, showing how the applicant was influenced by him or
her or was inspired by his or her achievements. This format is often
used to show how family history colors and shapes us.
?nbsp; DO isolate personal traits and attributes.
?nbsp; DO choose a family member who has inspired you to pursue your
education or profession.
?nbsp; DO briefly discuss any struggles that your family has
overcome and how
they affected you.
?nbsp; DON’T lose the focus on *your* achievements by giving too much
attention to the family member. Keep it relevant.
?nbsp; DON’T exaggerate family problems.
?nbsp; DON’T appear to be asking for pity.

Step Three: Execution

Writing with a Distinctive Voice
Once you’ve gathered your information and selected a structure for
your
essay, you are now ready to write your statement. A key element of
the
writing process is choosing which point of view you will use to
present
your information.

It’s important to remember that you’re not being judged on your
creative
writing skills. Many styles that would be effective and engaging in a
short story or a magazine article would seem strained and awkward used in an application essay. The vast majority of writers use the
first person singular, as in, "I feel that I am uniquely qualified
for a
career in law." It is a straightforward, easy-to-read style that can
be
very effective. Make sure that you vary your sentence structure,
length
and rhythm to keep the essay flowing.

In seem excessively
casual
and a more traditional reader might take it as "sloppy." It is best
to
use this device sparingly, in sentences where the "you" could be
replaced by "one." For instance, "You can always achieve your goals
if
you plan wisely, work hard, and delegate."

Third-person narration (using "he" or "she" to refer to yourself) is
extremely difficult and does not work well in form of a personal
statement. The commonest reaction to a piece written in the
third-person is simply confusion. "What’s going on here? We were
expecting an essay from the applicant, but this is an essay the
applicant. Who wrote this?" It would be disastrous to write about
yourself "from the point of view of" a favorite teacher or mentor and
have the admissions committee suspect that you are forging letters of
recommendation. Even if your literary device is understood and
accepted, it’s easy to come across as eccentric, affected and
self-important by referring

The best bet is to use your own style--this isn’t the time to
experiment with a new "voice." Just make sure that whatever you write
is clear, concise, and grammatically correct. Don’t try to impress
the
admissions officers by using big words; simply make sure that the ones
you *do* use aren’t misspelled.

It Was A Dark and Stormy Night...
Your introductory paragraph could well be the most crucial portion of
your entire essay. A good introduction grabs the reader’s attention
and
has them halfway through the personal statement before they realize
what’s hit them. It’s best to draft multiple openings and then select
the one which is most compelling. You don’t have to summarize your
whole essay in the first paragraph if you can instead draw the reader
in
to read what follows. If you are absolutely set on the dramatic
effects
of third-person narration, you may want to use it in your
introduction.
For instance, you could describe a galvanizing moment in your
life--"It
was only the first day of the sixth grade, and already the
funny-looking
new boy, the little Chinese kid, was being sent to the principal’s
office"-- as an introduction to the difficulty of assimilating to a
new
culture. Be certain to take "ownership" of the paragraph, though
("That
kid was me. It was just the beginning of my long struggle to fit into
mainstream American culture coming from a remote province in China")
and
move into first-person narration fairly quickly.

The Meat of the Message
The bulk of your essay should consist of events, experiences and
activities, arranged either chronologically, by topic, or in order of
importance. Feel free to give emphasis to those accomplishments that
you believe deserve particular attention -- remember, you are selling
yourself to the readers. Don’t merely tell them that you deserve to
get
admitted to their school; tell them *why*. Be confident but not
arrogant; let them know that you would be an asset to the incoming
class, but don’t tell them that they’re lucky to have you. Give each
paragraph a distinct point that you could sum up in one sentence if
necessary, and make sure that the segues between paragraphs are
smooth.

Wrap It Up
An effective personal essay, like any strong piece of writing piece,
is
"front loaded." Your most compelling anecdote or fact should come
right
at the beginning; don’t bury the "good stuff" or leave dramatic
revelations for the last paragraph. Conclusions should be brief and
to
the point, summarizing your qualifications while not rehashing the
entire content of the essay. You may wish to restate your goals and
motivations in a forceful, compelling style: "my excellent academic
record, experience in the business world, and incomparable leadership
skills make me a confident, accomplished and promising candidate who
would be an asset to the incoming class" rather than "I have worked
hard
in school and I believe that I will be successful at your school."

Step Four: Editing and Proofing

It’s possible that your personal statement is the most important
essays
you will ever write. Painful though it may seem after already having
done so much work, 80% of a successful piece is in the editing: you
still have a lot of work to do.

?nbsp; When editing, you should feel free to mark up the page, write
questions in the margins, and generally make a mess. Remember,
nothing
is set in stone.
?nbsp; Don’t hesitate to analyze your essay line by line. Question
whether
each thought connects with the others and whether each sentence
follows
the preceding one in a logical order.
?nbsp; Paragraph by paragraph, make sure that your statements are
concise,
effective, relevant, and fresh. Repeating the same topic or theme
over
and over again will bore the reader, and the essay will lack
professionalism.
?nbsp; Remember: if something is not absolutely clear to you, it
certainly
will not be clear to the reader who knows nothing about you.
?nbsp; Ask yourself what’s missing. Are there any additional
experiences
that would help support your thesis?
?nbsp; Make sure every assertion is backed up by hard facts; show
us, don’t
tell us. Compare "Despite our full courseloads in engineering, my
roommate and formed our own software company at the start of our
sophomore year" with "I am an extremely enterprising individual."

Proofreading
When you feel that your essay is in good shape -- or you have read it
so
many times that you’ve completely lost perspective -- find several
people
to read over your personal statement. It’s best if you can find one
to
read for the technical aspects of your writing and two to read for
content.
?nbsp; Select your proofreader carefully. Few things make as
immediate and
as negative an impression as misspellings, incorrect grammar and
clumsy
sentence structure. Don’t trust your computer’s spell-checker,
either.
Get a real human being.
?nbsp; Your first content reader should be an individual who is very
familiar
with your background and who can tell you whether you’ve adequately
conveyed your strengths; the second should be someone who does not
know
you as well and can spot any areas in your essay which are unclear to
him or her (and would therefore be unclear to the admissions
committee).

Once you have rewritten according to your editors’ comments, give them
the revised draft and repeat the process.

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