Statement of purpose - Powered by Discuz!NT Archiver

小萨 - 2007-4-25 14:02:00

Be specific, persuasive, clear.
Tips from http://www-2.cs.cmu.edu/~harchol/gradschooltalk.pdf. This is an excellent paper that addresses the bigger picture of applying to CS program, and is relevant to EE people as well:
It’s misleading that the personal statement is called a “personal” statement, since what admission committees are really looking for is a research statement. What admission committees want is a statement about what research you have done, what research you hope to do, and why you like research.

小萨 - 2007-4-25 14:03:00

Structure

First paragraph – Describe the general areas of research that interest you and why. (This is helpful for a committee to determine which professors should read your application.)

Second paragraph and Third paragraph – Descibe some research projects that you worked on. Tell us what you found, what you learned, what approaches you tried. It’s fine to say that you were unable to prove what you wanted or to solve your problem.

Fourth paragraph – Tell us why you feel you need a Ph.D.. Look back to section what in there appealed to you.

Fifth paragraph – Tell us why you want to come to CMU. Whom might you like to work with? What papers have you looked at from CMU that you enjoyed reading? What will CMU teach you?
Tips from http://www.sjsu.edu/faculty/gcal ... nningstatement.htm:

Your purpose in graduate study. This means you must have thought this through before you try to answer the question.

The area of study in which you wish to specialize. This requires that you know the field well enough to make such decision.

Your future use of your graduate study. This will include your career goals and plans for your future.

Your special preparation and fitness for study in the field. This is the opportunity to relate your academic background with your extracurricular experience to show how they unite to make you a special candidate.

Any problems or inconsistencies in your records or scores such as a bad semester. Be sure to explain in a positive manner and justify the explanation. Since this is a rebuttal argument, it should be followed by a positive statement of your abilities.

Any special conditions that are not revealed elsewhere in the application such as a large (35 hour a week) work load outside of school. This too should be followed with a positive statement about yourself and your future.

You may be asked, "Why do you wish to attend this school?" This requires that you have done your research about the school and know what its special appeal is to you.

小萨 - 2007-4-25 14:03:00

Career goals. write two short paragraphs:

What career have you chosen? What factors formed this decision?

What evidence shows that this is a correct choice? That is, how can you show that this choice is realistic? (Personal experience in the field is a good place to begin.)

What accomplishments, work experiences, important activies (skills/qualities) will help me in grad school?

Demonstrate motivation in-between the lines.

Emphasize everything from a positive perspective

小萨 - 2007-4-25 14:05:00

Recommended writing structure:

Introduction

This is where you tell them what you want to study. For example, M.S. degree in Mechanical Engineering with an emphasis in dynamics and controls.

Summarize what you did as an undergraduate

Important class or classes you took which stimulated your desire for graduate study; specific project or class?

Research you might have done. Indicate with whom, the title of the project and what your responsibilities were. Write technically; it's professors, not secretaries, reading this.
Work experience, especially if you had any kind of responsibility for testing, designing, or researching a product or apparatus.

Indicate what you want to study in graduate school in greater detail.This is a greater elaboration of your opening paragraph.

Indicate area of interest, then state questions you might have which are associated; i.e. what you might be interested in studying. You should have an area selected before you write the statement.

If you can, contact the department for information and find out what the professors are doing for research. Are there people whose interests match yours? If so, indicate this as it shows a sign that the student has done his or her homework and is highly motivated. (Be sincere, however. Don't make up something bogus just to impress people.)

Academic background

How have you prepared yourself to succeed in graduate school?
What body of relevant knowledge will you take with you?
Significant study or lab skills
Research or publications completed to date
A successful statement will...
Has great opening lines or paragraphs

Conveys at least a glimpse of the applicant's personality

Substantiates specific academic preparation and knowledge of subject matter Demonstrates an understanding of the challenges as well as the rewards of a chosen career Gives a sense of maturity, compassion, stamina, teamwork skills, leadership potential and general likability, usually without addressing these issues directly (tells a story rather than gives a list)

Says what you really mean by describing an event or emotions and thoughts in detail Gives specifics, with DETAILS. It's far better to give your essay a complete description of one incident than to cram it full of activities and accomplishments without any hint of what they meant to you, your motivations for doing them, what you learned, or emotions evoked. Shows how you will use the graduate education in your planned career and establishes that you understand your place in the "big picture"

Demonstrate that you've read the catalog carefully, researched the program, and considered your reasons for applying to the particular school.

Direct your focus at that specific program; refer to faculty with whom you have been in contact.

Get the name of the program you are applying to into the statement. Know the exact name.
All the best essays will be both honest and direct.

Don't attempt to guess at what you think people want to hear.

Sincerity and truthfulness should be clearly evident.

You must demonstrate to the committee how your goals coincide with what the program has to offer as well as how you will fit in and how your qualifications will benefit the program.
The applicant should not use the same essay for each program. A generic personal statement is easy to detect.

To distinguish your essay, add something unique to it without throwing in irrelevant information that will annoy your readers. One of the best ways to do this is to discuss, briefly, an idea in your field that turns you on intellectually. It's an effective essay-opener, and it lets you write about something besides yourself for a bit. There are other benefits as well. The idea you choose to talk about, and your comments on it, often tell an admissions committee more about you than your own self-descriptions can.

Finally, don't just reuse the same statement of purpose for each school you apply to. You can recycle the same information, but make sure you tweak it for every school. Your statement will sound stale and the admissions committee will notice if you don't do this.

小萨 - 2007-4-25 14:05:00

Things which all college admissions officers want to see in the application:

A Picture of Your Overall Personality

How will you give a picture of your personality? I would suggest that you imply rather than state the facts. For instance, don’t say ‘I am a smart person.’ Demonstrate it, imply it. Don’t say ‘I am energetic.’ Give evidence by the fact that you worked after school for six hours every day and still had time to play on the volleyball team.

Academic Background and Work Experience

It would be a mistake to talk about your high school. Start with your undergraduate career. School records may be worth mentioning if there is something extraordinary about them.

Continuity

Admissions officers are looking for some continuity in what you have done, what you want to do in the near future and what you hope to do in the distant future. So, connect them.

Commitment and Motivation

Rather than simply saying ‘I am committed’, find a way of inferring that you are indeed highly committed and motivated to your proposed field of study.

Communication Skills

They will be looking at your writing skills - how well you can present yourself clearly and intelligently when writing, hence the importance of spending considerable time on the statement.

Writing style

Write simply, not in a flowery and complicated manner.

Write in a straightforward way.

In other words don’t be subtle or cute. Write in a clear and logical manner. If you have to be creative, that is fine, but do so in a straightforward way. These people are really interested in your vocation. They don’t want to read something that is in the form of one act plays nor do they want to read three adjectives per noun. They want you to be direct and straightforward.
Be clear in what you are saying.

Make sure you are logical. Explain yourself with great clarity. Finally, most important of all, be specific, not vague. Don’t say - ‘My grades were quite good’ but say ‘I belonged to the top 5% of my class’. Don’t say - ‘I am interested in sports’. Say ‘I was captain of my hockey team’. Don’t say ‘I like poetry’. Say ‘I did a study of Shakespeare’s sonnets and wrote a twelve-page bachelor’s degree dissertation on Imagery’. Don’t say - ‘I want to be a Supreme Court Judge, that is why I want to go to law school’. Say things like ‘I was an apprentice in a court’ or ‘I often went with my father to the courts to listen to cases’ or ‘I wrote a legal column for a school newspaper’. That is being specific.

小萨 - 2007-4-25 14:06:00

Tips from http://www.coe.berkeley.edu/cues/grad.strength.html:

Structure

Think of the statement of purpose as a composition in three different parts. The first part is a brief summary of the program you want to study and what particular area of research you want to focus on. The second part should be a summary of your college experiences. What brought about your interest in engineering (perhaps a bit of pertinent background information), any work experience you might have had, if you put yourself through school, co-op or summer job experiences and research experiences--here you can elucidate what design or job responsibilities you had. You may be as specific as possible, as it is engineering professors who are reading this statement. The third part is composed of why you want to go to graduate school, what you would like to study (research), and ideally, with whom you would like to study. Write the department or consult the web for information concerning the professor's research interests, then consult your library for recent publications. When you can mention what you would like to study, and whom you would like to study with, it often indicates to a department that you've done your homework and have serious intentions about the pursuit of graduate study. At all times, be sincere and honest

http://www.ece.cmu.edu/~mabdelm/statement-of-purpose-tips.html

小萨 - 2007-4-25 14:08:00

Glenn M. Callaghan D

http://www2.sjsu.edu/faculty/gca ... inningstatement.htm

Glenn M. CallaghanDepartment of PsychologySan Jose State Univsersity

WRITING A WINNING STATEMENT OF PURPOSE

Before you start, check out the tips below on "Getting Started"

I. Determine your purpose in writing the statement

Usually the purpose is to persuade the admissions committee that you are an applicant they should choose. You may want to show that you have the ability and motivation to succeed in your field, or you may want to show the committee that, on the basis of your experience, you are the kind of candidate who will do well in the field. Whatever the purpose, it must be explicit to give coherence to the whole statement.

Pay attention to the purpose throughout the statement so that extraneous material is left out.

2. Pay attention to the audience (committee) throughout the statement. Remember, your audience is made up of faculty members who are experts in their field. They want to know that you can think as much as what you think.

II. Determine the content of your statement

Be sure to answer any direct questions fully. Analyze the questions or guidance statements for the essay completely and answer all parts.

For example: "What are the strengths and weaknesses in setting and achieving goals and working through people?" In this question there are actually six parts to be answered 1) strengths in setting goals, 2) strengths in achieving goals, 3) strengths in working through people, 4) weaknesses in setting goals, 5) weaknesses in achieving goals and 6) weaknesses in working through people. Pay attention to small words. Notice: This example question says through people not with people, if it says with people, answer that way.

Usually graduate and professional schools are interested in the following:

1. Your purpose in graduate study. This means you must have thought this through before you try to answer the question.

2. The area of study in which you wish to specialize. This requires that you know the field well enough to make such decision.

3. Your future use of your graduate study. This will include your career goals and plans for your future.

4. Your special preparation and fitness for study in the field. This is the opportunity to relate your academic background with your extracurricular experience to show how they unite to make you a special candidate.

5. Any problems or inconsistencies in your records or scores such as a bad semester. Be sure to explain in a positive manner and justify the explanation. Since this is a rebuttal argument, it should be followed by a positive statement of your abilities.

6. Any special conditions that are not revealed elsewhere in the application such as a large (35 hour a week) work load outside of school. This too should be followed with a positive statement about yourself and your future.

7. You may be asked, "Why do you wish to attend this school?" This requires that you have done your research about the school and know what its special appeal is to you.

8. Above all this, the statement is to contain information about you as a person. They know nothing about you that you don’t tell them. You are the subject of the statement.

小萨 - 2007-4-25 14:09:00

Determine your approach and the style of the statement

There is no such thing as "the perfect way to write a statement." There is only the one that is best for you and fits your circumstances.

1. There are some things the statement should not be:

Avoid the "what I did with my life" approach. This was fine for grade school essays on "what I did last summer." It is not good for a personal statement.

Equally elementary is the approach "I’ve always wanted to be a __________." This is only appropriate if it also reflects your current career goals.

Also avoid a statement that indicates your interest in psychology is because of your own personal psychotherapy or a family member’s psychological disturbance. While this may have motivated many of us to go on to graduate study in psychology, this is not what your audience is necessarily looking for in your statement.

小萨 - 2007-4-25 14:10:00

These are some things the statement should do:

It should be objective yet self-revelatory. Write directly and in a straightforward manner that tells about your experience and what it means to you. Do not use "academese" or jargon.
It should form conclusions that explain the value and meaning of your experiences such as: (1) what you learned about yourself; (2) about your field; (3) about your future goals; and (4) about your career concerns.

It should be specific. Document your conclusions with specific instances or draw your conclusions as the result of individual experience. See the list of general Words to Avoid Using without Explanation listed below.

It should be an example of careful persuasive writing.

小萨 - 2007-4-25 14:11:00

CONSIDERTIONS ABOUT FORM:

Keep to the Page Limit Number!!! Reviewers have to read hundreds of these applications, don’t overburden them with extra pages.
Do not leave in typographical errors. You don’t want to be taken less seriously due to a typo, rite? (laugh)

小萨 - 2007-4-25 14:12:00

WORDS TO AVOID USING WITHOUT EXPLANATION

Significant Invaluable appealing to me interesting exciting, excited appealing aspect challengingenjoyable, enjoyI like it satisfying, satisfaction I can contribute it’s important rewardingvaluablefascinating gratifying helpful appreciate meaningful useful helping people meant a lot to me feel good I like to help stimulating remarkable people incredible

小萨 - 2007-4-25 14:14:00

GETTING STARTED

EXERCISES:

A. Recalling and analyzing experience - write short paragraphs on the following:

1. Pick a memorable accomplishment in your life. What did you do? How did you accomplish it?
2. What sort of important activities have you engaged in? With whom? what role did you play?

3. What work experiences have you had? What was your job? responsibility? How did you carry it out?

Now look over your paragraphs. What skills and qualities do you see that you possess? For example, consider working with others. Were you a leader? important "team" player?
Looking at what you have found, you can now look for skills and qualities that will help you in graduate school. What factors stand out?

NOTE: You will undoubtedly have more material than you can use. This is good, but you need to make strategic choices.

B. Your career goals - write two short paragraphs:

1. What career have you chosen? What factors formed this decision?

2. What evidence shows that this is a correct choice? That is, how can you show that this choice is realistic? (Personal experience in the field is a good place to begin.)

小萨 - 2007-4-25 14:16:00

Ten Do's and Don'ts for Your Statement of Purpose

http://www.accepted.com/grad/personalstatement.aspx

The Do's

Unite your essay and give it direction with a theme or thesis. The thesis is the main point you want to communicate.

Before you begin writing, choose what you want to discuss and the order in which you want to discuss it.

Use concrete examples from your life experience to support your thesis and distinguish yourself from other applicants.

Write about what interests you, excites you. That's what the admissions staff wants to read.
Start your essay with an attention-grabbing lead -- an anecdote, quote, question, or engaging description of a scene.

End your essay with a conclusion that refers back to the lead and restates your thesis.
Revise your essay at least three times.

In addition to your editing, ask someone else to critique your statement of purpose for you.
Proofread your personal statement by reading it out loud or reading it into a tape recorder and playing back the tape.

Write clearly, succinctly.

The Don'ts

Don't include information that doesn't support your thesis.
Don't start your essay with "I was born in...," or "My parents came from..."
Don't write an autobiography, itinerary, or résumé in prose.
Don't try to be a clown (but gentle humor is OK).
Don't be afraid to start over if the essay just isn't working or doesn't answer the essay question.
Don't try to impress your reader with your vocabulary.
Don't rely exclusively on your computer to check your spelling.
Don't provide a collection of generic statements and platitudes.
Don't give mealy-mouthed, weak excuses for your GPA or test scores.
Don't make things up.

小萨 - 2007-4-25 14:17:00

Ten Tips for Better Writing

http://gradschool.about.com/gi/d ... 2Flaw%2Ftentips.htm

1.Express yourself in positive language. Say what is, not what is not.

2.Use transitions between paragraphs. Transitions tie one paragraph to the next.

A transition can be a word, like later, furthermore, additionally, or moreover; a phrase like After this incident...; or an entire sentence.
If you are writing about Topic A and now want to discuss Topic B, you can begin the new paragraph with a transition such as "Like (or unlike) Topic A, Topic B..."
3.Vary your sentence structure. It's boring to see subject, verb, object all the time. Mix simple, complex, and compound sentences.

4.Understand the words you write. You write to communicate, not to impress the admissions staff with your vocabulary. When you choose a word that means something other than what you intend, you neither communicate nor impress. You do convey the wrong message or convince the admissions officer that you are inarticulate.

5.Look up synonyms in a thesaurus when you use the same word repeatedly. After the DELETE key, the thesaurus is your best friend. As long as you follow Tip 4, using one will make your writing more interesting.

6.Be succinct. Compare:

During my sophomore and junior years, there was significant development of my maturity and markedly improved self-discipline towards school work.
During my sophomore and junior years, I matured and my self-discipline improved tremendously.
The first example takes many more words to give the same information. The admissions officers are swamped; they do not want to spend more time than necessary reading your essay. Say what you have to say in as few words as possible. Tips 7, 8, and 9 will help you to implement this suggestion.

7.Make every word count. Do not repeat yourself. Each sentence and every word should state something new.

8.Avoid qualifiers such as rather, quite, somewhat, probably, possibly, etc.

You might improve your writing somewhat if you sometimes try to follow this suggestion.
The example contains nonsense. Deleting unnecessary qualifiers will strengthen your writing 1000%. Equivocating reveals a lack of confidence. If you do not believe what you write, why should the admissions officer?

9.Use the active voice. Compare:

The application was sent by the student. (Passive voice)
The student sent the application. (Active voice)
They both communicate the same information. The active voice, however, is more concise; it specifies who is performing the action and what is the object. The passive voice is wordier and frequently less clear.

10.Read and reread Elements of Style by William Strunk, Jr. and E.B. White. Containing basic rules of grammar, punctuation, composition, and style, this indispensable classic is available in paperback and is only eighty-five pages long.

小萨 - 2007-4-25 14:17:00

Tips for Writing Your Personal Statement (from U of Washington)：

http://depts.washington.edu/achieve/ProPStatement.html

Before you even begin writing, choose the topic you want to discuss
and the order of your points. Some people like to write an outline. Others like to just sit down and start writing – they edit later to see that it makes sense. Do whatever helps you write your best!

Write about what interests you,what excites you. Your interest will come through in your writing. Don't choose your subject because you think it's what someone else in admissions wants to read. It's called a “personal statement” because it's all about you!

Use concrete examples from your own life experiences to support your topic and distinguish you from other applicants. Use words like “me” and “I” not “one”. Other students may choose the same topic you do (playing football, a family trip, or a church group they belong to, for example) but your experiences are UNIQUE and what we're interested in!

小萨 - 2007-4-25 14:17:00

To sum it all up:

Choose a topic that excites you.

Organize your paper in the way that works best for you.Use real examples from your own life to illustrate what you're saying.

Make sure you DO:

1. Write about yourself, not how much you love the school you're applying to.
2. Stress your strengths and the positive things about yourself.
3. Deal with your weaknesses honestly and without being defensive.
4. Talk about your life experiences, activities, and work that you are proud of.
5. Be confident, but not arrogant.
6. Follow the instructions on the application!
7. Proofread carefully for grammatical errors and misspelled words.
8. Ask someone to read it out loud to see if what you wrote makes sense to another person.
9. Treat your personal statement as if it were your interview and put your best foot forward!

Make sure you DON'T:

1. Write in generalities, e.g. “When one has a bad day, one might not be in a good mood….”
2. Write it the night before it's due.
3. Send admissions an 8-page statement when they ask for 2 pages.
4. Talk about why our school is your first choice. Admissions will assume it is!
5. Sound like you used a thesaurus every other word to try to impress.
6. Assume that your statement won't be read. It will be!

What admissions looks for in your statement

The BEST statements:

· Effectively and insightfully address the writing task.
· Are well organized and fully developed with clear examples to support ideas.
· Display facility in language usage, variety of sentence structure and range of vocabulary.

The AVERAGE statements:

· Address the topic.
· Are organized and somewhat developed, with some examples to support ideas.
· Have adequate but inconsistent facility in the use of language, some errors in grammar and diction.
· Minimal sentence variety.

INADEQUATE statements: (And you don't want to write one in this category!)

· Are poorly organized.
· Are thinly developed.
· Have little or inappropriate detail to support ideas.
· Have frequent errors in grammar, diction, and sentence structure.

Writing a good personal statement means coming up with a meaningful topic for you, being organized in your presentation, and writing using good grammar and punctuation. It also means you and at least one other person need to proofread, proofread, proofread!

The general rule to remember - tell the admissions counselors something
about yourself, your experiences, and your life and write it well.

Written by EJB and KDS
Revised by J. Schoen

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