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空白 - 2007-1-15 16:00:00

Subject: Succesful NYU Stern Applicant
1. Think about the decisions you have made in your life. Describe the follow
ing: PAST: What choices have you made that led you to your current position
? PRESENT: Why is a Stern MBA necessary at this point in your life? FUTURE
∶ What is your desired position upon graduation from the Stern School? I li
ke options, I like security, and I like power. With these wants, I knew at a
very early age that I would enter business and thus I attended a college th
at specializes in the subject. In my first position out of school, I was hir
ed by Dunhill Equities as a cold-caller. After several weeks of being hung u
p on by angry prospects, I decided that this career path would not lead me t
o success. I then moved within the firm to a position as sales assistant. Wh
ile this was by no means my dream job, I learned a tremendous amount about b
usiness, and I gained useful exposure to the world of finance. Unfortunately
, the company hit a period of instability, and after ten months I transferre
d with my boss to Coleman & Company. Thirteen months later, that company als
o began to fail, and I began to search for another path to advancement. With
two strikes against me, I hit a home run and was hired by Sanford Bernstein
into a challenging job with limitless opportunity for growth. After almost
three years at Bernstein, I am once again seeking career advancement. My edu
cation and work experience have provided me with an excellent introduction t
o business, and they have sparked my interest in finance. Taking into consid
eration my foundation and my interests, graduate business school is the next
logical step. At this point in my life, I consider a Stern MBA to be necess
ary since I need to gain a broader understanding of finance and to sharpen m
y analytical skills in order to be successful in corporate finance. Stern抯
MBA program will allow me to concentrate in finance, strengthen my global bu
siness perspective, and provide me with the opportunity to study with and le
arn from people with varied backgrounds. The school抯 location in the financ
ial capital of the world and in one of the most diverse cities in the world
also suits me perfectly. Aside from advancing my career, I would also like t
o develop personally. In college I did not join many clubs or organizations,
and I did not participate in sports. Instead, I spent all my time studying,
working, or dealing with family issues. Having been away from home and livi
ng in New York City for four years, I feel the need to make a name for mysel
f and to develop a meaningful social life. I want to take advantage of the m
any benefits that extracurricular activities offer, and I want to be involve
d in the Stern community. Upon graduation from the Stern School, I will seek
a position as an associate within the corporate finance department of a lar
ge, Wall Street, investment-banking firm. In three to five years, once I hav
e become adept in financial analyses, drafting prospectuses, preparing busin
ess presentations and other financial advisory work, I will move into a seni
or associate position. Here I will develop my abilities to anticipate client
needs and to engineer solutions that address these needs. In approximately
10 years, I will have the experience necessary to take on upper-level manage
ment responsibilities. 3. Describe yourself to your MBA classmates. (You may
use any method to convey your message: words, illustrations, etc.)I grew up
in a small fishing village in Maine, surrounded by family. Expectations and
aspirations are limited in such an environment. I could have made a living
exploiting the sea, but chose to do similar work as a corporate executive. A
lthough I have no siblings, my hometown contains over fifty family members,
and our agenda of family activities is always packed. Most of my family is e
mployed in the commercial fishing industry, which instilled in me at a very
young age, the concept of work. At age eleven, I started babysitting and mow
ing lawns, and at the age of fifteen I applied for my lobster license. The f
irst summer with my license, I took a job as a sternperson with a fellow fem
ale. We were the only two females out there, which was definitely an experie
nce. When the lobstering season ended that year, I took a job at a grocery s
tore bagging groceries. I saved enough money to build a boat and to buy fift
y lobster traps; I was on my way. The following summer I continued to work a
s a sternperson, and I also fished my own traps. I continued lobstering thro
ughout the rest of high school and college, and it helped me finance my coll
ege education.In addition to being ambitious and motivated enough to put my
heart into even mundane, low-level tasks, I am also extremely organized. Thi
s is one characteristic that has always received praise. I pay particular at
tention to detail, which I believe has contributed to my success thus far. I
take pride in my work, and I look at it as a representation of myself. In m
y position at Sanford Bernstein as a Consultant Liaison, I market my firm to
the financial consulting community. Maintaining the integrity of the firm i
s vital and errors are disastrous. When training new group members, I stress
this point most thoroughly.I work in a group that currently has six members
. The group serves as a central source of information for the firm, and its
success relies on an extraordinary amount of cooperation from each of us. As
a senior member, I am able to contribute to the group in several ways inclu
ding: training group members, controlling the quality of the group抯 output,
managing and accurately completing multiple requests with short turnaround
times, gathering and conveying information from senior investment profession
als, collecting and calculating data, maintaining databases, overseeing proj
ects aimed at making long-term improvements to the group抯 processes, and st
rengthening my own foundation of knowledge to be used as a resource. Recentl
y, as the result of a manager leaving the firm, I have also taken on some of
the managerial responsibilities for the group including prioritizing and de
legating assignments.Though I am an excellent team player, in business schoo
l I would like to sharpen my managerial skills. I have found that I need to
overcompensate for my 搒oft?appearance in order to get my point across. I ho
pe to improve my negotiating skills and to gain more experience in getting g
roup members to carry their own weight. At the same time, I do not want to b
ecome a tyrant. To be effective, it is important for a manager to maintain t
he proper balance of power and compassion. Only in this way, will I be able
to lead a team of people to realizing the goals of a firm.4. (Optional) Plea
se provide any additional information that you would like to bring to the at
tention of the Admission Committee. If you are unable to submit a recommenda
tion from a current employer, please give your reason here.To satisfy my des
ire for success, I must continue my education. Of the six business schools t
o which I am applying, the Stern School is my first choice. I am very excite
d about entering an MBA program that will allow me to focus on my interest i
n finance as well as provide me with the career possibilities and exposure t
o resources, such as networks and learning tools, which I do not currently h
ave. At Stern, I know that my investment of time, energy, and money will be
well rewarded. At this point in my life, I believe I have great potential to
gain much from a business degree since I have been exposed to the business
environment for the past eight and a half years. I now posses a strong found
ation to build upon, and I am ready to assume the rigors and challenges of t
he Stern School抯 MBA program.In addition to its academic program, the Stern
community is itself very appealing. The three undergraduate schools that I
applied to were Babson, Bentley and Bryant. Babson College became my first c
hoice as soon as I visited its quaint campus and fell in love with the frien
dly atmosphere and cultural diversity. From someone coming from a small fish
ing village in Maine, it was refreshing to be surrounded by family. Living i
n New York City has broadened my exposure to include a fast-paced, career-mi
nded atmosphere. The combination of these characteristics at the Stern Schoo
l will provide me with an excellent learning environment, and I hope to atte
nd Stern for many of the same reasons I selected Babson.I have provided thre
e recommendations. One is from my former employer, Andrew Tzanides, with who
m I worked closely for two years. Another is from my current manager, Gail L
andis, who joined my department in January of 1998. At that time, I also had
a direct manager, Catherine Acosta. I had worked with Cathy on a daily basi
s since I joined Bernstein in May of 1996,and she is providing my third reco
mmendation. Due to the lack of growth opportunities in my position at the be
ginning of 1998,I was seeking employment elsewhere. The discrepancy between
my goals and my education and work experience resulted in a very frustrating
job search. I wanted to redirect my career from RFP writing to investment b
anking, but given my background, it was difficult. At this point, I decided
that going back to school to pursue my MBA would be the most important step
I could take. In the meantime, Cathy left Bernstein and Gail assumed her man
agement responsibilities until a replacement could be hired. Gail has now be
en working with my group for approximately six months. Due to your request f
or a recommendation from my current supervisor and due to my circumstances,
I felt it necessary to include recommendations from both Cathy and Gail.

空白 - 2007-1-15 16:05:00

PS写作样本
By: Successful Harvard Applicant
Subject: Successful at Harvard, Princeton, Dartmouth, and Stanford
Hiking to Understanding Surrounded by thousands of stars, complete silence,
and spectacular mountains, I stood atop New Hampshire’s Presidential Range a
westruck by nature’s beauty. Immediately, I realized that I must dedicate my
life to understanding the causes of the universe’s beauty. In addition, the
hike taught me several valuable lessons that will allow me to increase my u
nderstanding through scientific research. Although the first few miles of th
e hike up Mt. Madison did not offer fantastic views, the vistas became spect
acular once I climbed above tree line. Immediately, I sensed that understand
ing the natural world parallels climbing a mountain. To reach my goal of tot
al comprehension of natural phenomena, I realized that I must begin with kno
wledge that may be uninteresting by itself. However, this knowledge will for
m the foundation of an accurate view of the universe. Much like every step w
hile hiking leads the hiker nearer the mountain peak, all knowledge leads th
e scientist nearer total understanding. Above tree line, the barrenness and
silence of the hike taught me that individuals must have their own direction
. All hikers know that they must carry complete maps to reach their destinat
ions; they do not allow others to hold their maps for them. Similarly, surro
unded only by mountaintops, sky, and silence, I recognized the need to remai
n individually focused on my life’s goal of understanding the physical unive
rse. At the summit, the view of the surrounding mountain range is spectacula
r. The panorama offers a view of hills and smaller mountains. Some people du
ring their lives climb many small hills. However, to have the most accurate
view of the world, I must be dedicated to climbing the biggest mountains I c
an find. Too often people simply hike across a flat valley without ascending
because they content themselves with the scenery. The mountain showed me th
at I cannot content myself with the scenery. When night fell upon the summit
, I stared at the slowly appearing stars until they completely filled the ni
ght sky. Despite the windy conditions and below freezing temperatures, I cou
ld not tear myself away from the awe-inspiring beauty of the cosmos. Similar
ly, despite the frustration and difficulties inherent in scientific study, I
cannot retreat from my goal of universal understanding. When observing Satu
rn’s rising, the Milky Way Cloud, and the Perseid meteor shower, I simultane
ously felt a great sense of insignificance and purpose. Obviously, earthly c
oncerns are insignificant to the rest of the universe. However, I experience
d the overriding need to understand the origins and causes of these phenomen
a. The hike also strengthened my resolve to climb the mountain of knowledge
while still taking time to gaze at the wondrous scenery. Only then can the b
eauty of the universe and the study of science be purposefully united. Attai
ning this union is my lifelong goal.
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空白 - 2007-1-15 16:06:00

Subject: Succesful Harvard Transfer
(5) Briefly, please indicate the most influential factors in your original d
ecision to attend your present college, such as location, cost, large/small
student body, only option, special program offered, Early Decision plan. (8)
Please indicate your intended field of specialization and briefly outline y
our academic plans at Harvard-Radcliffe. (9)What are your current postgradua
te/career plans? (10)Briefly discuss one book that has strongly influenced y
ou. (11)Please use the space below to discuss briefly the one or two extracu
rricular activities that have meant the most to you during college or high s
chool. Which activities, if any, would you like to pursue while at Harvard-R
adcliffe? (14) In the space below or on a separate sheet, please explain in
some detail your reasons for wanting to transfer to Harvard-Radcliffe Colleg
e. I applied to the University of Pennsylvania under the Early Decision plan
. U. Penn. has a beautiful campus, a diverse student body, and almost unlimi
ted opportunities to excel at extra-curricular activities. My main motivatio
n in applying under the Early Decision plan, however, was my eagerness to st
udy at an Ivy League institution with one of the best liberal arts curricula
available. I intend to eventually become an economist. To achieve this goal
, I would like to double major in economics and psychology at Harvard. Altho
ugh this combination might seem unusual, I think it will enable me to practi
ce economics with insight on human thinking. In addition to pursuing academi
c excellence, I also intend to participate in research and extracurricular a
ctivities related to these two fields. After I graduate college, I intend to
work for a few years in an economics-related field either in the United Sta
tes or in Brazil, and then to go to graduate school. My long-term dream is t
o return to Brazil and help the government create a stable economic plan. Th
e plan I envision would put Brazil, a country with great potential, on the r
ight track to achieve a faster pace of development and to become, once again
, a reliable country for international investment. With a stable economy, Br
azil can invest more funds in critical areas like education. I will be very
satisfied with my career if I know I have contributed to the development of
a great economic power. "YES.." was the final answer, and it made me feel li
ke a master of negotiation, excelling at a task at which both the treasurer
and the president had failed. As a new board member of the Penn Brazilian Cl
ub, I had the responsibility of negotiating with Brazil, the restaurant whic
h presently holds the monopoly of Brazilian food in Philadelphia. I was tryi
ng to get the restaurant to decrease the price of the "feijoada." This was t
he first chance I had to put in practice the techniques of "principled negot
iation, " which I learned from the book Getting to Yes. Getting to Yes chan
ged my life in almost every sense. On many occasions, my friends and relativ
es have expressed their admiration at the changes they noticed in my persona
lity and behavior. Although I considered myself a good negotiator since chil
dhood, Getting to Yes taught me how mistaken I was about the art of persuasi
on. I have learned to search for alternatives which fulfill the interests of
all parties to a negotiation, rather than to seek opportunities to take adv
antage of the opposition. A masterpiece on the art of negotiation, Getting t
o Yes shows how reason, as opposed to force; interests, as opposed to positi
ons; and the building of lasting relationships, as opposed to determination
for "winning, " can bring victory to both sides in a negotiation. When I cam
e to the United States from Brazil, I realized that American culture differe
d significantly from my own. I wanted to give the Americans I met an opportu
nity to learn from my culture as much as I was learning from theirs. To acco
mplish this goal, I founded the Pine Crest Brazilian Club, of which I became
president and activities manager. The club soon grew into one of the most s
uccessful and active organizations at my Florida high school. The fifty memb
ers had the opportunity to experience the food, music, dance, and other cult
ural activities of Brazil. Although I am no longer in Florida, I have remain
ed one of the most active board members of the Brazilian Club. In order to m
aintain the tradition I initiated, I give advice to the company’s president.
In addition to being active in the Brazilian Club, I have also founded and
played guitar in two bands. With one of my friends, I founded a band named
Draconia which became very well-known throughout the entire school after our
first concert in May of my junior year. As we began to practice more seriou
sly, several more concerts followed. By my fourth week of college, I had alr
eady founded another band. My new band, KB-2,already has nine soft rock song
s. Although we haven’t yet had our first concert, our practices are intense
and the members take their work very seriously. At Harvard, I expect to con
tinue pursuing these two activities that have played such a large role in th
e formation of my personal traits. I owe to these activities most of my lead
ership and interpersonal skills. I am prepared for the challenge of creating
the most active and successful Brazilian club Harvard has ever had, and, if
possible, starting a new rock band there as well. In addition, I expect to
get involved in undergraduate research projects and to engage in other activ
ities related to my areas of specialization. In order to succeed in a global
, competitive, and fast-changing environment, an individual must have a broa
d background, yet also know a specific field very well. I want to transfer t
o Harvard-Radcliffe because no other school could possibly offer me such a s
olid liberal arts foundation, and at the same time, provide me with the know
ledge, analytical skills, and confidence I will need to deal with the comple
xities of todays world. Only a rigorous academic institution like Harvard-Ra
dcliffe will give me the education I desire in order to pursue my ever-risin
g personal and professional goals. Throughout my life, my goals have always
shifted upward as soon as I get close to achieving them. During my sophomor
e year of high school, I realized that an education in Brazil would bring me
neither intellectual nor personal fulfillment. Therefore, I decided to tran
sfer to school in the United States. Despite having to struggle with a whole
new language and way of life, I never lowered my high academic standards. I
was proud to be accepted to Pine Crest, one of the top preparatory schools
in the United States. At PC, new classes, teachers, extra-curricular activit
ies and friends brought a great deal of excitement to my life. My success in
high school added another rung to my ladder of goals: the prospect of getti
ng an education in an American university. Although I had a 3.95 GPA, my SAT
scores, affected by my language limitations, were not high enough to encour
age me to apply to Harvard at that time. Instead, I applied to U. Penn. Afte
r six months, having accomplished all the goals I had for my first semester
at Penn, I am now attempting to move up yet another rung in my ladder of ach
ievements. I know Harvard is the world’s finest and most rigorous educationa
l institution. Since academic achievement is an unconditional priority to me
, I will not settle for anything less than being one of the top students at
the very best academic institution. I am willing to accept any challenges Ha
rvard has to offer. Harvard’s extremely well-balanced curriculum provides it
s graduates with a solid foundation for any future endeavor, whether it be i
n the academic or the professional world. I believe Harvard will be a spring
board to help me reach all my future goals.
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空白 - 2007-1-15 16:07:00

Subject: Succesful Yale Applicant2
We hope that your application essay will help the Admissions Committee bette
r understand you and the ways in which Yale College might enable you to achi
eve your academic and personal goals. You should discuss your reasons for wi
shing to transfer to Yale. You may also wish to comment on your academic int
erests, extracurricular activities, and significant responsibilities outside
of school. While many students decide to apply to Yale for its prestige, th
e motivating factor for me was an innocent summer activity. I learned about
Yale last summer when I served on the Executive Committee and taught for a p
rogram in New Haven, called Summerbridge New Haven. This program, based out
of the Hopkins School, allows high school and college students to mentor and
teach inner-city students who cannot afford a tuition-based program. Two of
my co-workers were Yale students, and they informed me that Yale made major
contributions to the program. Moreover, Yale generously offered the use of
its facilities, including field trips to the Yale Daily News and other Yale
sights that provided invaluable experiences for the students, some of whom h
ad never toured Yale despite living in New Haven their entire lives. Several
graduate students helped us gather textbooks and other information for the
program’s science classes, one of which I taught during the summer. I was ve
ry impressed with Yale’s devotion to the betterment of the New Haven communi
ty. It attracts me because community service has always been a major part of
my life. Before that summer, I have served programs such as Big Brothers/Bi
g Sisters of Meriden-Wallingford and a tutoring program for West Philadelphi
a grammar school students. Beyond Yale’s intense involvement in the communit
y, another reason I would like to transfer to Yale is because of its acclaim
ed international relations and economic departments. My interest in economic
s arose early, as I was the president of the business club at my high school
, Choate Rosemary Hall. I also participated in the Fed Challenge, in which C
hoate selected a team of five economics students to represent the school in
a national economics contest in Washington, DC. We attempted to prove, throu
gh intense research, what monetary policy the Fed should implement in its ne
xt Board of Governors meeting. Our performance in the competition won each o
f us a $4,000 scholarship and a year-long subscription to Business Week (McG
raw-Hill, the publisher of Business Week, was a sponsor). This contest was e
xciting and sparked my current passion for economics. Hence, Yale’s exceptio
nal economics department would be a wonderful resource for me. In addition t
o economics, I also enjoy studying languages and the interaction between for
eign countries. At Penn, I have attained proficiency in German and am now ta
king my second semester of Polish. Both Yale’s foreign language and internat
ional relations departments are very strong and would greatly enhance my edu
cation. Another factor in my decision to apply to Yale as a transfer student
has been my father’s illness. My father was recently diagnosed with lung ca
ncer and has begun feeling quite ill. As New Haven is near my home in Wallin
gford, attending Yale would allow me to spend more time with my father and l
et me aid him with some of the tasks that he can no longer do because of his
illness. Though his illness has played some role in my decision, my academi
c interests in Yale are still the main reasons for my desire to transfer. I
have a variety of college interests that I hope to continue at Yale. These i
nclude working as an associate for the Daily Pennsylvanian, Penn’s student n
ewspaper, and co-founding the Options and Hedging Strategy Club, an investme
nt club that works in conjunction with Philadelphia investment banking house
s and offers Penn students information sessions on investment strategies. I
would love the opportunity to work for such a reputable student newspaper as
the Yale Daily News and start a similar investment strategy club at Yale. T
hrough my previous experiences with Yale, and based on my current interests,
I am certain that Yale and I would be a perfect fit.

空白 - 2007-1-15 16:10:00

Subject: Succesful UPenn Applicant4
Question: Engineers will face many challenges over the next twenty years. Wh
ich of these challenges seems most appealing to you, and how do you plan to
help meet it?With energy sources being depleted at an incredible rate, the n
eed to engineer practical, renewable sources of energy is becoming increasin
gly important. In only 100-200 years, oil reserves will be nearly used up, a
nd natural gas will be used up shortly after that. As demands for energy inc
rease with the development of the third world and since energy is necessary
to the prosperity of all nations, engineers must devise practical, affordabl
e, and environmentally sound solutions to the upcoming energy crisis. I do n
ot believe the future of renewable energy research will lie in proliferation
of nuclear power plants or in spending billions of dollars on fusion resear
ch. Rather, I predict engineers will devise a product to affordably harness
a less dangerous energy source. For example, we can harness wind power and s
olar energy to produce electricity. Unfortunately, such energy sources are n
ot utilized practically to any real extent in my homeland of Turkey, althoug
h there are some instances of practical utilization in the United States. I
do believe that wind power can be exploited as an auxiliary energy source. B
y installing a large number of wind turbines in convenient places, we can co
nvert wind energy to electric energy for consumption by homes and industry.
Even though this process has its own challenges like placing a ridiculous nu
mber of turbines across a country at great expense and getting a meteorologi
cal map of the country, I believe these problems are surmountable. Moreover,
such an energy source can help us to save the environment.Question: What ch
aracteristic of Penn and yourself make the University a particularly good ma
tch for you? Briefly describe how you envision your first year in college. H
ow will your presence be known on campus?I have the difficult task of being
the 揻irst.?I will be the first one in my family who has ever studied overse
as, and while I find this idea fascinating, I realize it will not be easy. W
ithout having anyone around to advise me about the new life I will face, I h
ave had to figure out everything by myself. If I am to make a mistake in sel
ecting a college, I will bear the full burden of that mistake. As I begin to
realize this, I understand that I will need to find the inner strength and
self-reliance to face difficult changes alone, but I know I have the persona
l strength to do this. In addition, because I am the first in my family to b
e educated abroad, my ten-year old sister looks up to me in awe. She fully e
xpects to follow in my footsteps and to be educated in the legendary land th
at I am constantly speaking of. As a result, I must be careful in what I do
since she will follow in my tracks. Thinking about these consequences, I dec
ided that nothing would be easy for me, but that whatever I faced, I would n
ever give up. With the hopes of my little sister on the line, I am not going
to thwart her dreams of studying in the States. My father was the first per
son in his family who earned a university diploma, and my receiving an excel
lent US education would vindicate the hard work he did to make this possible
for me. When I first saw the booklet of University of Pennsylvania on my co
unselor’s desk, I knew right away that this was the school I wanted to be pa
rt of. The University of Pennsylvania offers me much more than an education.
It also offers me the opportunity to learn how to be an individual who can
fulfill society抯 needs both now and in the future. Moreover, since UPenn ha
s a long history of 揻irsts, ?I knew that I would fit in the dynamic, invent
ive atmosphere. Since the responsibility of being the 揻irst?is great, I bel
ieve that UPenn, with many students in similar situations, would provide me
the support I need to excel in this very important academic community. If I
am admitted to the college, I will not fool around trying to get situated; i
nstead, I will work to integrate myself into the campus community from the v
ery beginning to become a contributing member of my class. In a familiar env
ironment surrounded by people who share my drive and determination, I will w
ork to display the strength and eagerness to learn and to achieve in my eyes
. My success in the lessons and achievements in friendship will be enough to
recognize me in hundreds of students. I will be the first person in my fami
ly who attends a college in the States that knows the privilege of ’being fi
rst’. Question: How did you spend last summer?Last summer I learned a lot ab
out life from outside the classroom. Previous summers, I had attended summer
camps in France and in England, but this time I spent my whole summer worki
ng in a local travel agency called Firefly Travel Agency and at a McDonalds.
Even though I was frustrated at the beginning, at the end of the summer I w
as glad to endure such an experience. During the month that I spent guiding
tourists around Marmaris, I learned many important interpersonal skills. Und
er the bright sun, I had the opportunity to not only visit many very interes
ting sites but to also practice my English at the same time. Exposed to many
people of different cultures, I enjoyed helping people very much. When I re
turned from Marmaris to my hometown of 輘tanbul, I found working in McDonald
s to be an even more difficult challenge. While certainly not mentally taxin
g, the job required me to stand on my feet constantly and to not rely on oth
ers for help. As days passed and I completed my training in each station, I
realized that I could still enjoy myself. Now, I was preparing the hamburger
s that I had eaten hundreds of times before without recognizing how grueling
the process was. Both working in the kitchen as the cashier, I got a sense
of the business world from the level of the lowest employee. I ended the sum
mer very content and quite motivated to excel at college to avoid mindless,
unskilled work like my McDonald抯 job. Question: Most people belong to many
different communities-groups defined by (among other things) shared geograph
y, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology or intelle
ctual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong and descri
be that community and your place with in. Basketball had always been my favo
rite sport since the day my father registered me in a basketball course when
I was only eight. Unfortunately, because I am from Turkey, people objected
to my playing a ’masculine sport.’ Surprisingly, most of the opposition came
from my female friends and relatives. Despite their advice, I never conside
red quitting. When I entered Robert College, I had the chance of a lifetime
with the opportunity to compete on a girls?basketball team in an official le
ague.My female friends said that basketball was a sport that was impossible
for girls to succeed in and they always found a way to escape playing basket
ball during physical education classes. This attitude only spurred me on to
practice and play harder. I respected basketball as a profession. The court
was the place where I felt most comfortable and most powerful. I liked the t
eam spirit that filled the air before the matches, and I adored the camps an
d practices we had before big tournaments. With the opportunity to form last
ing bonds with many different girls, I was obsessed and fascinated by the sp
ort. My interest spilled over to inspire my teammates, and my desire and ded
ication to basketball led me to be named captain when I was in just the 7th
grade; I am still captain of the team to this day. Through my way, I never f
orgot the advice that my coach gave: Quitters never win and winners never qu
it and till now I have always tried to be the winner.
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胖胖小飞象 - 2007-1-18 11:06:00

能不能给点中文点评啊? 嘿嘿

迷兔 - 2007-1-18 16:09:00

楼主是外国人~

sob - 2007-1-18 16:20:00

都是名校成功申请案例啊？！拿回去好好研习一下（虽然都很长）多谢楼主

numberX - 2007-1-29 13:11:00

有乱码？??

啥叫幸福 - 2007-2-5 14:29:00

难得碰到这么好的楼主,不过个人认为样本的东西还是作为参考好些.

花花草草 - 2007-2-5 14:54:00

听朋友说这里有好东东, 有样本就不错了,楼上的就别再...支持楼主!!! 呵呵

花花草草 - 2007-2-5 15:00:00

听朋友说这里有好东东, 有样本就不错了,楼上的就别再...支持楼主!!! 呵呵

天使爱美丽 - 2007-2-26 17:05:00

实在有点长～～得慢慢消化才行～～
顶～～～

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实在有点长～～得慢慢消化才行～～
顶～～～

骑着王子的白马 - 2007-2-28 9:54:00

这些东东本来也只能做参考,照搬套用,不会有好结果的

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