PS写作范例

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What specifically have you done to help a group or organization change?
(300 word limit)

In 1990 as a senior associate at Condor Consulting, I headed?nbsp;a four person
Condor team for two years at Monitor Software (MS), a mid-size firm which
sold data-base management software products. Our mission was to convince 120
key MS programmers and engineers to sell MS consulting services as a new
’product,’ in addition to their old engineering and programming tasks. These
valued and long-term employees were not sales oriented and were comfortable
with the status quo.?nbsp;Also, they were?nbsp;committed to finishing their current
projects, not adding to them.

I helped plan several company meetings and question-and-answer sessions to
share the company’s new?nbsp;vision. I explained the need for MS to change in
order to remain competitive. But many MS programmers and engineers, at the
end of our first orientation ’phase’ (6 months),?nbsp;were not committed to the
change. After carefully assessing these meetings with my own ’change’ team, I
told senior management the original plan would take 3 years instead of 15
months. We had to hire new people, deal with winning over more recruits, and?nbsp;
craft an exit strategy for those unwilling to join.

Over the next two years 70?nbsp;percent of the initial target audience signed on,
and 30 percent were transferred, quit,?nbsp;or let go. The new consulting
’business’ became 25 percent of MS’ total revenues.

Executing lay-offs at the same time as making new hires was hard. So was
integrating new hires into this roiling environment.?nbsp;My team’s?nbsp;success was
based on?nbsp;(i) open communication, (ii) a willingness to change the first
plan, (iii) hiring outplacement and recruitment experts (after a failure of
trying this in-house) and?nbsp;(iv) constantly sharing the new vision and
benefits. Although we revised the?nbsp;’change’ plan, we never waivered in our
ultimate commitment to it--and it showed.

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Comment:
Not a pretty picture at MS, but a classic change essay with great content
and adequate execution and analysis. The essay deals with a key change
situation: veteran, skilled employees must adapt to an additional function:
selling consulting services rather than just products. Reclusive engineering
types must start selling themselves, an impossible transition for a
substantial minority. The writer spearheads the change. The set up is
adequately described, followed by the?nbsp;the buzz-word filled analysis
(explained our vision, valued feedback, gave credit to resistance, recognized
early mistakes, hired experts, showed our commitment to change).?nbsp;While the
analysis is cursory, and repetitive, what gives this essay power is the
underlying explosiveness of the situation, a real blood bath (30 percent
firings) and for the survivors, a top-down change that nobody really
welcomed. What comes through by implication is that the writer is tough,
smart, and a natural leader. He is ’compassionate’ not so much by nature, but by training.?nbsp;A

perfect HBS type.?nbsp;He knew what you are supposed to do in
such a situation (hold meetings, explain the change, listen to resistance)
but that is where the book learning stopped and reality took over.

All that jazz did not really work--at least it did not work as originally
planned. Time for Phase Two: extend the deadline, keep up the ’vision’ drill,
fire people, and hire replacements.?nbsp;The detail about out-sourcing the hires
and fires, after failing to do it in-house, is powerful and telling. So is
last sentence about being committed to change, and showing that commitment.
Within the context of this essay, it rings true, and you can almost picture
the writer heading the entire two-year operation in a collected, firm,
intelligent, by-the-book business-like way.?nbsp;

More condensed writing and less repetition could have opened some space to
screw in further powerful details, but the big picture comes through, and the
situation is compelling.?nbsp;The writer?nbsp;touches all the right bases, and?nbsp;the
essay scores high.

***********************************

In 1991, Monitor Software’s (MS) management understood that real growth was
going to come from adding the sale of ’consulting services’ to their core
product: specialized data-base software. As one of four consultants from
Condor Consulting assigned to help make this transition, my challenge was to
guide the government accounts sales force into selling consulting engagements
as well as products.

Because the government account sales force already perceived itself?nbsp;as
successful, the first thing I had to do was explain why a ’relationship
building’ approach was needed for long term profitability. I met with each
member of the 30 person sales force in person for one-hour and from these
meetings?nbsp;I developed a 10-day?nbsp;"Change In Mission" training program.?nbsp;Also,
as the field specialist,?nbsp;I accompanied sales people on sales calls and?nbsp;
showed them how to qualify sales leads into real consulting opportunities.

Because closing?nbsp;a consulting ’contract’ was more complex and prolonged than
selling a product, I also suggested a new profit plan to accommodate the
changes. I also built in other standard ’salesmen’ incentives?nbsp;such as
premiums, bonuses, and prizes?nbsp;which were new to MS. In two years, the
software consulting practice at MS grew from zero to $ 8 million.?nbsp;Looking
back, one key?nbsp;was redesigning the compensation package, and selling that
idea to MS management.?nbsp;Management thought the package too ’rich’ but I
stressed that they were asking the sales force to ’change’ dramatically, and
this also required some radical ’re-thinking’ on their part. They still
balked, and I suggested a pilot program for volunteer early adapters. That
worked, and soon the benefits became clear to the sales staff and management

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Comment: A good companion piece to Essay 1 since this guy was a junior
member of the same team.?nbsp;Good set-up, fast but maybe a little too curt
(might be hard to understand if you had not read Essay 1).?nbsp;The body mixes
lots of details with the usual "change buzz-set"?nbsp;[explained the need for
change, held meetings, listened to feed-back]. The writer also shows an
attractive variety of skills, including designing compensation packages and
accompanying the MS sales force as a guide, plus dreaming up the pilot
program. (When our writer acted as guide to the MS sales force it no doubt
struck the funny bell for all you Big Consulting firm types. This guy had
never sold anything.) Be that as it may, this is a very solid piece of work
which touches a lot of bases, deals with a dead-on ’change’ situation, and
crams in a lot of specifics and buzz terms. In many ways it is a better essay
than 1, since the specifics are more telling and detailed. That is the
pay-off. Note that an entire essay could have been written by this writer about how he ’changed’

management’s mind about the compensation
package, but since the other specifics are so strong, it was probably better
to go with a wider approach. As a rule, though, the more narrow topic is
better. This candidate represents the very solid, very smart, non-charismatic
young worker bee that is the backbone of HBS. The writer of 1 represents the
extraordinary top 15 percent, but this could be judged the superior essay. In
truth both essays are outstanding.

**********************************

As an Information Technology?nbsp;consultant to a major state’s?nbsp;Department of?nbsp;
Motor Vehicles [DOMV],?nbsp;I led a 22 person cross-functional decison team
(technical and management) in selecting a single vendor (from six) for a?nbsp;$10?nbsp;
million ’call center’ upgrade.

My first hurdle was credibility.?nbsp;I was a twenty-eight?nbsp;year old
consultant and most of the DOMV managers were older, sometimes by 10 years or
more.?nbsp;I was extremely respectful to everyone, even going so far as to call
senior people ’Mr.’ or ’Ms’ until asked to use their first name. I also made
it a point of meeting individually with 10 leading managers my first two days
on the job and personally asking for their help.?nbsp;Many Motor Vehicle senior
people were ’political’ and I made it a point to respect that as the
’corporate culture’?nbsp;(it helped that my Dad had been a state ’lifer’ although
not in this state). But I also confirmed from my consulting company that the
very reason we were brought in was to make a merit decision. (This is not
always the case.)

After ’earning’ some good faith, I then made it clear, through weekly memos,
technical reports, and meetings, that I was firm about reaching an objective
decision.?nbsp;I actually made the process more quantative than strictly
necessary.?nbsp;The danger of running this ’wizard’ show was not getting full
information about each department’s needs, but I tried to do that informally.
Also, my clear objectivity ’freed’ up the internal technical people, who
proved very helpful.

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When disagreements emerged, I resorted to an ’objective scoring process’ to
build consensus. At one point, I had to initiate a second round of scoring. I
could have been more of?nbsp;"a people"?nbsp;person?nbsp;but given my age, the internal
culture, and the limited task, the ’super straight arrow’ model worked.

Comment: A paradoxical topic, perhaps more suited to Q. 1 about leadership
than this question because this answer is not really about how the?nbsp;writer
helped an organization change, it is about how the writer helped an
organization change computers, a key difference.?nbsp;One of the charms of this
essay, in fact, is the writer’s awareness that he is not going to change this?nbsp;
organization, it’s a bunch of Motor Vehicle ’state-lifer’ types, and nobody
is going to change that.?nbsp;The writer is smart enough to work around the
political culture?nbsp;with his ’wizard’ show (a great term I had never heard
before).?nbsp;The writer is further aware enough to know that possibly he overdid
the ’straight arrow’ routine, but it was an acceptable strategy given the
situation.?nbsp;Like most good essays (but see below) it gains force by
self-awareness.?nbsp;In addition to discussing some?nbsp;business ’buzz’ words
(establishing respect, earning good will, respecting the corporate culture)
we also have the author convincingly reflecting on his motives (maybe he was too much a straight

arrow, he was putting on a wizard show,
he understood the culture because his father had worked in a similar one).?nbsp;

This essay runs a risk that you may not like this guy.?nbsp;He is both technical
and crafty at the same time.?nbsp;I like this guy, but I am a little more cynical
than the average HBS essay reader, who is more often than not a
politcally-correct,?nbsp;therapeutically oriented, do-gooder type with a strong?nbsp;
commitment to process.?nbsp;That type of reader might criticize the author for
being elitist (he knows best), patronizing (intentionally calling his elders
Mr and Ms) and anti-democratic (obscuring the consensus process with a
’wizard’ show, and bragging about it in the essay).牋 That all sounds a
little nutty to me (I’ve worked in state government and know this situation
exactly), but I’m not an admissions officer.?nbsp;You could make a strong case,
given that possible critique, to change or abandon this essay.?nbsp;If other
parts of the app. confirmed the "elitist" "wizard" picture, it could be fatal.
?nbsp;Also realize that readers are not Saints and possibly not genius critics
either.?nbsp;It is possible for this essay to annoy someone who could not really explain why, but

the author would pay the price anyway.
?nbsp;The writer does not have the chance to argue back. Personality in an essay
is a strong suit, but subtle "attitude" can be deadly.

***********************************

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In 1995,?nbsp;during?nbsp;the second year of my internship with Mogul Investment Bank
(MIB) in New York, my father was diagnosed with lung cancer, and told he had
6 months to live.?nbsp;My father owned?nbsp;a?nbsp;sporting goods store in Queens.?nbsp;In
the next two months, I was able to hire a store manager, add a bill paying
system, and educate my mother to run the store alone. My father died four
months after the initial diagnosis.

I first used contacts at MIB to obtain a definitive diagnosis of my father’s
cancer from world-famous specialists at Sloan Kettering Hospital.?nbsp;After
consultation with them, my family elected to peruse a ’care’ not a
’treatment’ course for the cancer. That decision gave us more time to focus
on preparing my mother to take over the business rather than ’fight’ the
cancer.?nbsp;Through a local?nbsp;priest,?nbsp;I located a recent immigrant from Greece
(our own ethnic heritage)?nbsp;who was smart and happy to have?nbsp;the manager’s?nbsp;
job.?nbsp;He was a lucky hire.

I spent?nbsp;a month training the new manager and going through the old records.
(I took an unprecedented three-week leave from MIB and moved back home.) My
father was able to help a little, but he soon became too sick. I computerized?nbsp;
the bill paying system, and concluded that computerizing the inventory was
not worth it. My mother had worked in the store in the past (as had I), and I
was able to make her feel comfortable about taking over by making her a
collaborator in the reorganization.?nbsp;Also working in the store was a way to
take our minds off my father’s illness, and my father?nbsp;was pleased to know
that my mother would be financially secure and the store would go on.

Comment: ’Wild card’?nbsp;good answer in which the facts speak for themselves
without much need of ’buzz word’ embellishments or analysis.?nbsp;We are
impressed here most by the writer’s character and his strong family
background. Although working in a blue-chip investment banking internship,
the writer takes an ’unprecedented’ three-week leave to deal with a family
crisis.?nbsp;Not many people would leave a top Wall Street job to move back to
the ’old neighborhood’ and immerse themselves in a small family business.?nbsp;We
are also impressed by the writer’s apparent competence, maturity,?nbsp;and
confidence. After all,?nbsp;hiring someone to manage a small business, and
training someone else to ’own’ it, are not skills taught at Wall Street
investment banks. The decision not to aggressively fight the cancer, made
after consultation with leading experts, is also powerful and ’counter-intuiti
ve’ to Wall Street and HBS types, but correct under the circumstances. That
kind of authentic and ’wisdom-laden’ detail scores super high with admissions readers (and normal

readers too).?nbsp;The answer gains from its
business-like recital of both the practical and psychological issues: hiring
the manager through the local priest, organizing a bill paying system,
deciding early to ’accept’ his father’s death not fight it, the recognition
that working in the store helped the family deal with their grief, his
father’s pleasure at seeing his wife taken care of after his death.

That recital makes the essay conform to the MACRO, in its own way. The set-up
is stated quickly in the first paragraph, and what follows is a narrative
containing both facts and insights, each of which illustrate ’specifically’
what the writer did to help an organization change.?nbsp;We are left with a
picture of a high-functioning, caring, out-of-the-box thinking and strong
family values young man [HBS Poster Boy Type 2.?nbsp;Type 1 is "inside-the-box
thinking."] but the power of the essay is that is shows us those traits
through good specifics rather than just telling us.?nbsp;Many writers baldly
state "I am determined, hard working, and believe in truth and justice . . .
." but the trick is provide the unique and personalized details that show
those things, and this writer has done it.

************************************

Personal Statement

Whew, another long day, I thought to my self as I grabbed a carrot stick and
plopped on the couch ... I really understood the way to graph a parabola in
Pre-Cal ... the short story b y Bierce was interesting ... I aced my Italian
test and got a B+ on my oral report on Paris ... the Bosnia issue in history
really caught my attention ... and I finally completed my physics lab ... Oh,
I have to remember to make that deposit for the Post Prom Committee and to
balance my treasurer books for Italian Club ... the French Club meeting was
cancelled until tomorrow. Just then my thoughts were interrupted by a phone
call.

"Hello," I answered.

"Hi, Sabrina, it’s Michelle from ’Stop & Shop’. Do you think you could work
at 3:00 today? We’re short a few people."

"Sure, I’ll be there in a little while. Bye." I hung up the phone. Grabbing
my smock, I headed for the supermarket in Shelton. At 3:00 on the dot I
stepped through the automatic doors.

"Hi Michelle, has it been busy?" I asked the manager.

"No, not really, but we’ve had a few sick calls. I’m glad you could make it.
Thanks. Relieve Jon on register 9."

"Hey, Jon, you’re going home," I said, grinning.

"Thank God! This place has been a madhouse. Is it a full moon tonight?"

"Stop. It couldn’t have been that bad," I laughed.

"See for yourself. Bye," he answered.

I greeted my first customer, a lady with a petite figure and beautiful long,
black hair, well maintained. She was wearing a red business suit that was
covered by a long, black leather jacket. The outfit was accented with a heart
pendant necklace.

"Hi, how are you?"

"Fine, thank you," she smiled. "No coupons today. Good thing, huh?"

"Yeah," we laughed. "Ma’am, was there a price on this Windex?" I asked.

"No, I’m sorry I hadn’t noticed," she apologized.

"That’s O.K. I’ll call for a price check. ’GROCERY PRICE CHECK ON 9!’" I
shouted. "There is a coupon for these saltines. Would you like it?" I asked,
turning back to the customer.

"Yes, please. Thank you. Every little bit helps."

"You’re telling me," I responded. "I have to save for my college expenses."

"Really?" she asked, very interested. "Where do you want to go to college?"

"Quinnipiac," I answered enthusiastically.

"That’s good. Why did you choose Quinnipiac?"

"Well, I went to the campus for a tour with my friend during their open
house," I explained. "The campus was beautiful, and they have excellent
business and language programs. I have to stay close to home, so I found a
school that is nearby and has all I need. I hope to study abroad in Italy
someday, and I spoke with a staff member there who is in charge of the study
abroad. He explained the program to me, and it sounded great. I think I can
achieve my goals at Quinnipiac."

"That’s great. Not may people know what they are going to do when they get
out of high school ... or college for that matter. Good luck."

"Thank you. Will that be all of your order?"

"No," she responded, "please, a book of stamps."

"O.K., your total is $89.48." I paused waiting for my customer to get her
money ready. "Out of $100 ... $10.52 is your change. Thank you. Have a good
day!"

"Thank you. Good luck, again. Bye."

A tall woman, wearing black jeans, a very large sweatshirt and a football
jacket, pushed her cart through my checkout aisle.

"Hi, how are you?" I greeted.

"Don’t ask. Just ring up my order," she snapped.

"Wait until I unload my carriage. I have to watch everything you ring up,"
she demanded.

"Do you have any coupons?" I asked, trying to be polite.

"Yes, I’ll give them to you when I’m ready," she snapped again. "Hold it!
That juice is $.99, not $1.19."

"Ma’am, I have to get a price check," I said calmly.

"That’s what your expensive computers are for," she barked. "Can’t you just
give it to me for $.99? I’m in a rush. I’ve been in this store over an hour.
All I’ve gotten here is a headache, and this is not helping. Neither are
you."

"Ma’am, I have to get a price check. That’s procedure," I explained nicely.
"Mark, is this juice $.99? I asked my co-worker.

"No, the Stop & Shop brand is $.99 not Ocean Spray."

"Where is your bagger?" the customer interrupted.

"He stepped away from the register for a moment, Ma’am. He’ll be back soon."

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"Why can’t you just get another bagger? That is why I came to your line."

I took a deep breath and responded, "They all already have a register where
they have to bag."

"What are you doing?" she asked, raising her voice again. "I wanted paper,
not plastic."

Oh my, I thought to myself, reaching for a paper bag. Jon was right; it must
be a full moon. "Your total is $147.92," I politely informed her.

"Oh no! I only have $140. You will have to take something off my bill," she
ordered.

"O.K. Which items?"

"Give me a minute," she commanded. "I can’t wait to get the hell out of
here!"

Seeming calm but getting nervous inside, I waited for the lady to decide what
she would void from her order.

"Take off these candles and flowers."

"That makes your total $142.84."

"I only have $140!" she repeated angrily.

"I understand you only have $140. You’ll have to take one more thing off."

"Take this salsa off."

$139.99 please."

"Here," she said, practically throwing her bills at me.

I counted the money and said out of habit, "$140."

"That’s what I gave you, isn’t it?" she said impatiently.

My drawer opened, and I was glad that this transaction was almost over.

"One penny is your change, and here’s your receipt. Have a good night," I
said with trained politeness.

"Keep the penny," she said as she slammed the coin down on my register. "You
have been the worst cashier I’ve ever had to deal with. You’ll probably be
doing this for the rest of your life."

"No, Ma’am," I said with a smile as she walked away. "I’m going to college."

--

*******************************

Sample Essay 1
(The Environmental Studies Student)

Two scenes stand out in my mind from my visit to Brazil’s Wetland: Forests burning

before seed planting and trees as hedgerows. Before the planting season, I could

see the leafless remnants of burnt trees still standing. The burning of pristine

forests destroys both the habitats and countless species which depend on and thrive

in these habitats. The few remaining bare, scarred trees silently convey the cost

to our natural resources of pursuing our economic interests. Some forests are

preserved by government edict issued in response to international pressure. But most

of this preservation occurs alongside major roads - not to protect the ecosystem,

but to prevent disturbance to ranches and farms along the highways. The clash between

economic and environmental concerns that I witnessed in Brazil fascinates me and

attracts me to the Environmental Studies Program.

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Two courses in my geography department increased my interest in the connection between

the environment and economics: Conservation of Underdeveloped Countries and

Environmental Impact Analysis. In the former, we studied the problems of natural

resource management in developing countries. The balance is always tilted toward

economics growth at the expense of environmental preservation. For example, because

the Pantanal Wetland could become a highly productive agricultural system once it’s

drained, it is drained regardless of the destruction that drainage causes to the

ecosystem. Only portions of the wetland are preserved for tourist purposes.

The other course that piqued my interest is an interdisciplinary course called

Environmental Impact Analysis in which we, as a group, created matrix and flow

diagrams discussing the economic and environmental impact of logging and

preservation of old growth forests. I was able to use tools that I acquired in my

economics and environmental studies classes. In general, logging creates economic

benefits at the local level. It increases employment in the timber industry and

subsequently in related non-timber industries; it also benefits local government.

Yet, it has great deleterious environmental effects: soil erosion, watershed

destruction, and a decrease in specie diversity due to loss of habitat. The logging

industry represents the classic clash between economic and environmental interests.

I also took two sequential classes in the economics department that are related to

Resource Management - Theories of Growth & Development and Policies for Economic

Development. Because the courses were taught by a professor who is concerned chiefly

with economic growth, I learned the standard economic rationalizations for

development unrestrained by environmental concerns.

In addition to my interest in resource management policies, I have a specific interest

in Geographical Information System (GIS), a powerful tool for natural resource

management. After taking several related classes in GIS, I began interning for the

National Park Service (NPS). After I learn how to use ARC/INFO, a leading GIS package,

I will assist the NPS in constructing projects. Some of my duties include spatial

and non-spatial data analysis, digitizing themes such as fire locations, vegetation,

wildlife habitats, etc., and tabular and graphical presentation of results. I hope

to use the tools I acquire during this internship in my continuing study of our

environment.

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I would like to study the social and economic factors that influence environmental

policy formation. For example, because people worry more about pollution than

endangered species, laws and regulations concerning environmental pollution are more

numerous and stricter than for bio-diversity. Within the School of Environmental

Studies, I have a particular interest in the emphasis: Economics, Policy, and

Management. This emphasis deals with how economic factors can create negative

externalities, such as pollution, and need to be regulated. This emphasis also tries

to consider non-economic values, such as aesthetic pleasure and specie diversity.

It also discusses tools like GIS and system analysis that apply to environmental

management. Because of my interest in GIS, economics, and environmental studies, this

emphasis suits me perfectly. Furthermore, the interdisciplinary approach of the

School of Environmental Studies attracts me since it combines social science’s

strengths with a knowledge of the natural sciences necessary to protect and preserve

the environment.

After completing my masters program, I would like to continue my education and obtain

a Ph.D. in natural resource management. This degree would enable me to combine a

teaching career with advising business and government on natural resource management

issues. Teaching college students is more than a one-way channel; I would also learn

from their questions like my professors have from mine. In advising business and

government, I can help them strike a balance between economic and environmental

concerns. GIS will be a useful tool in helping me give them crucial information.

I have enjoyed an interdisciplinary approach in my environmental studies major and

become fascinated by the clash between social interests, especially economics, and

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